I’m Sorry

Maybe it’s because the winter has been hanging on, the spring has been long in coming, and the fact that the blizzard on Good Friday prevented my girls from all being home for Easter, that I’ve slumped into a bit of a pity party lately.

To be honest, that party has been dragging on too, like this winter. I recently sent out a newsletter to twenty-some wonderful people who agreed to pray for me and my writing/speaking ministry and I just whined and whined. The discouragements have gotten the better of me lately.

I was in the midst of my ‘poor me’ thought processes the other day, when we skyped with the refugee family we are hoping to sponsor. They looked and sounded like they’ve been through a long winter too. But they’re in Bangkok. Living in a 12 x 14 foot room with three kids who can’t go outside for fear of all kinds of evil. No, there’s no winter in Bangkok. Just tyrants and brutal police and overcrowded detention centres and millions – yes, millions – of refugees who can’t go home because it’s worse there.

I’ve been on the edge of tears for weeks, for my own selfish reasons, but when this lovely, intelligent, gentle soul leaned forward and said quietly, “Please, we beg you, if something happens to us, please, please, take care of our children…” my breath caught in my throat and my silent groans, for once, were not for myself.

So I need to say I’m sorry. To you who have prayed for me, to you who tried to make me smile and you who have wondered why I haven’t, to all those whose suffering is real and unimaginable, and most of all to my God.

Forgive me.

I will try to do better in the days ahead.

5 thoughts on “I’m Sorry

  1. Lynne Collier/Author April 3, 2018 / 2:43 pm

    What a loving Father we have. I will pray for you and the family you sponsor too.

    • marcialeelaycock April 3, 2018 / 3:07 pm

      Thanks so much, Lynn. Please pray that the family will have an interview soon with the immigration people and that it will be favorable.

  2. Susan Anne Page April 4, 2018 / 7:34 am

    Perspective is important but I know this winter has been hard on many. We are so blessed in comparison to so many, yet Jesus doesn’t tell us not to come to Him if we are weary and heavy laden … He will give us rest.

  3. Rita KROON April 6, 2018 / 11:59 am

    Thank you, Marcia, for being so transparent and expressing in words what most of us are feeling. It is good to be reminded of the many sufferings of people all over the world. You touched my heart in a way only one who has the courage to be vulnerable can.

    Many hugs and much gratitude,



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