Why is it we struggle to believe God loves us? The enemy of our souls keeps whispering, and sometimes screaming, that God does not even care that we exist. That’s how I felt when I was in high school, watching some of my teachers who seemed to have a strong connection to God. I tried to do all the things I was told would get me into his “good books” but none of it worked. I knew I was faking it and eventually became frustrated and angry, sure that God wanted nothing to do with me. So I walked away from the church and from God, telling myself He didn’t exist.

I think there is an underlying knowledge in our souls that we are part of the world that “lay in sin and error pining,” as that wonderful Christmas carol, Oh Holy Night, says. We are all too aware of our dark side, the side that is capable of horrific things. We cringe when we hear about those who commit them, because deep down inside we know we are no better.

There is a story about a Jewish man who was called to give testimony at the Nuremberg trials at the end of World War 2. The man had been a victim of the Holocaust, imprisoned in one of the camps where thousands were tortured to death. As he walked toward the witness box, he faced one of his torturers and collapsed. The judge assumed he was overwhelmed by the atrocities that had been committed by the Nazi on trial, but he said no, he was overwhelmed by the knowledge that he was capable of doing the same.

Yes, we know the depth of our darkness, if we are honest with ourselves. But that darkness has been overcome by the mercy and grace of God. To deny that truth is to deny what Christ’s death means – that we have been freed from the chains of our sin and made righteous. As the wonderful  O Holy Night, says, “He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.”

Henri Nouwen says it well – “When Jesus talks about faith he means first of all to trust unreservedly that you are loved, so that you can abandon every false way of obtaining it.” We can live in the light of that truth by staying close to God, reading His word, following His commands, listening to the Holy Spirit who lives within us.

When we listen to His voice, the enemy has no power over us. We belong to Jesus. He knows us, loves us deeply and “as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.” (Isaiah 62:5)

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