“You’re just an adopted brat. Go away!”
I turned away in tears, stung by my older brother’s taunt. It wasn’t the first time he’d flung those words at me and over the years I’d begun to believe it. I was the “caboose” of the family, born after my mother was sure she was finished child bearing. I always felt like I didn’t quite belong.
Until we made a trip to visit my grandparents, aunts, uncles and a hoard of cousins. I loved going there, especially being with the cousins, some of whom were even my age. On one afternoon one of the uncles gave us all a nickel each, to spend at the local corner store. The group of us trooped in, chose our candies and took turns paying at the counter. The kindly owner joked with each one, until I stood before him. He frowned a bit, then said, “Well, you’re obviously a Lee, but which one are ya?” I told him my name, and my father’s name. He grinned. “Of course. I should have known. You look just like him.”
I skipped all the way back to my grandfather’s house and I never believed my brother’s taunts about being adopted again. Finally I knew where I belonged. I was my father’s daughter and nothing could change that.
The struggle to believe it, however, did not end. There were still times when I felt like I didn’t fit in, as though I were a foreigner in a strange country. I wandered through many places, careers and relationships over the years, searching for a place to truly belong, until one day when I was challenged to take a serious look at Jesus Christ. When I asked Jesus to forgive me, everything changed. At that moment I was adopted into a different family – the family of God. I’ve never forgotten the joy of knowing I belong to Jesus, knowing I am loved unconditionally.
When I think back on that time is still amazes me how simple it was to make that step, yet how much I resisted doing it, for so long. When I finally turned to God and asked for his forgiveness it was not with a humble heart, or a broken spirit. I was still flippant and defiant. But in His amazing grace and mercy, Jesus still opened his arms to me and welcomed me home like the long lost child I was.
That’s amazing grace, the kind of grace that extends love and forgiveness to anyone who asks, even when their attitude isn’t right, even when their life is a mess. One of my favourite verses in the Bible says – “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, NIV).
While we were still sinners, still disobeying him, still cursing him – even then, He is willing to forgive.
So now I’m not “just adopted.” I’m welcomed in, owned, loved and accepted.
Eternally at home.
Thanks for reading! I’d love to connect with you – just leave a comment here or one my website – https://marcialeelaycock.com
TODAY – I’ll be joining a few other Canadian Christian authors who are highlighting their books LIVE on Facebook. The event begins at 5:00pm MST. I’ll be talking about a few of my Christmas books – at 5:45pm MST. Pop by and say hello!