By Marcia Lee Laycock
My frustration level was hitting the ceiling. I’d been emailing with a support person for several days but getting nowhere. The technical problem on my computer was still there, those nasty error messages still blinking at me every time I went into the platform designed to do a specific job. Every time I did, I could not understand how to fix it. The support person kept advising me to do the same thing, but that thing did not make sense, nor could I see how to make the change she advised. After many hours of trying, she finally suggested I contact the source and access their chat feature.
It kind of irked me that I had to seek help at all. I chided myself that I wasn’t smart enough to figure this out on my own. But I did so. The support person there was very sympathetic and asked for permission to go into the back end of my account and have a look. I reluctantly gave permission. I was reluctant because I like being in control of things and I feared what she might see in there. Had I made other mistakes? Was the whole thing just one big mess? She asked me to give her some time to do what needed to be done. I groaned. I wanted this fixed now, immediately if not sooner. But, again, reluctantly, I said yes, stressing that I was on a timeline. She assured me she would be in touch as soon as possible.
About an hour later my computer dinged. The email told me to contact that support person again. I went back into the chat forum and connected with her. She told me the problem was an easy one to fix and explained, with step by step instructions, how to do it. I went into my account, followed those instructions and voila! the error messages disappeared. I gave a whoop of victory. Then I went back into the chat forum and thanked that support person profusely.
That evening a friend reminded me of a scripture verse and when she quoted it, I had to smile. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV).
How many times have I ignored those verses and tried to plow ahead on my own. How many times have I failed to acknowledge His sovereignty over my life? Just like that episode with having to seek the help of a technical expert, I am reluctant to admit that I need help and allow God to take control.
I pondered why. I had to acknowledge that I am reluctant to ask for help because I don’t want to appear incompetent. I had to admit that I desperately want to be in control of my own life, and I had to admit that sometimes I fear what God might see if he examined me too closely.
Just like that episode with my computer, I could have saved myself a lot of frustration and anguish if I had just swallowed my pride and gone to the source in the first place.
“Now do not be stiff-necked, as your fathers were, but yield yourselves to the Lord; and enter His sanctuary, which He has sanctified forever, and serve the Lord your God …” (2 Chronicles 30:8, NKJV).
Marcia Lee Laycock is the author of five novels and four devotional books. Click the link to subscribe to her devotional column The Spur
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